Today was not a great day. I woke up and almost immediately I was super depressed and sad. There's a lot going on in my life right now. I haven't been sleeping well. I have a lot of bills and work obligations and family stuff going on. I barely get to see my friends. And my boyfriend is across the god damn country and I have no idea when I'm going to see him next. I know with depression some days are just bad. But this was the worst day I've had in a long time.
I had to force myself out of bed. Force myself to get dressed. I think I forgot to brush my teeth. I cried a few times. Complained to the boyfriend. Managed to do some laundry. And I got myself to work.
Once I got to work I was a little better. But I just alternated feeling numb and tired and sad the whole day. I didn't manage to eat anything substantial until about 4:30pm.
It's hard being mentally ill when you have to be the boss. I'm trying to run a Starbucks. There are like a dozen things I have to keep track of at all times. And it's so hard when you get foggy depression brain. I managed decently tonight. It was a struggle. But I did it. It's like Parker (the boyfriend) said, it will pass.
Anyway, I took one and a half sleeping pills because I don't have a day off for another four days and I really need to sleep. I think it's kicking in.
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